SEX ED IN BROOKLINE, 2025

TL;DR: excerpts from videos and books that Lawrence will be using to teach sex ed over the coming weeks. No opinion given here. Also disclaimer: I wanted to put more time into this, but got busy. Hopefully some of you find it worthwhile in its current state.

Last Wednesday I got an email from my son’s school titled Important Message from 5th Grade Team regarding ITA Unit. Turns out ITA means “Introduction to Adolescence”, or I guess the equivalent of Sex ed. It linked to a letter that touched on the usual points:

It also helpfully linked to the books they’d be reading and the videos they’d be watching. When my oldest son went through sex ed at the Lawrence school about 5 years ago I checked the curriculum to see if I was cool with it. I’m doing the same thing now and sharing what I find so that other parents can decide how they feel. Surely some will be thrilled, some will be taken aback, and some won’t care. I touch here on the usual topics that tend to polarize on sex ed: sexuality, gender, abortion, masturbation, and if the illustrations are too “graphic” or not.

The school webinar (slides, video) the letter links to says they piloted this new version back in ‘23, so if you’ve got an older kid that went through it before then it’s worth taking a look at what’s new.

I’m posting it to make it easier for others to see what the books and videos say about the topics people tend to feel most strongly about: sexuality, gender, abortion, masturbation, and graphic illustrations.

Videos they’ll watch.

They’ll watch at least four videos. Three of them are from AMAZE, a project by Advocates For Youth. a group that “envisions a society in which all young people are valued, respected and treated with dignity; sexuality is accepted as a healthy part of being human; and youth sexual development is normalized and embraced”.

The video on the journey of the sperm is from Free Animated Education. They claim they want to make “Education Universal”.

Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity: What’s the difference?

youtube, archive

In which an exhuberant, AI-sounding young male voice says the following over cartoons and one oddly timed moan.

Is sexual orientation different from gender identity? Ask amaze!

Sexual orientation is different from gender identity. Sexual orientation refers to the gender or genders a person is romantically and or sexually attracted to. Some people know their sexual orientation by the time they go through puberty. For others their sexual orientation may not become clear to them until they are older. Some common sexual orientations include heterosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, and queer.

A person’s gender identity is their internal sense of their own gender or who they are. A person’s gender identity often matches how they look on the outside, but not always. There are many people who understand their gender identity as early as around two or four years old. For others it may not be until they are older. Some common gender identities include, cisgender, transgender, genderqueer, and gender non-conforming.

Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships

youtube, archive

This one talks about friendships and romantic relationships. It prefers to show two boys or two girls together when speaking of romantic relationships.

[Girl talking to her fish]

Oh, You won’t believe the day I’ve had. It was so terrible. Casey, who’s supposed to be my best friend, promised me that we’d go to the mall after school. Later, she texted me that she couldn’t go. So I went with Nicole, my almost best friend instead, but then, at the mall, just next to the food court, you won’t believe who I saw.

[BUBBLE]

That’s right, Casey, and she was with Nathan, her new boyfriend.

Uh, I hate her. I’m so lucky I have you. You’re such a good listener.

[Narrator]

Now that you’re in your teens, you may feel like you want to spend less time with your family and more time with your friends. During this time, some of your friendships may deepen, while others might fade away. And some of your friendships may even become romantic.[cue two girls giving sharing a milkshake after one gives sexy eyes to the other]

Being in a healthy relationship, whether a friendship or a romantic relationship [cue guy giving suggestive eyebrow raise to his guy friend], can be fun, but it can also be complicated. So here are some rules to follow to make sure your friendships are healthy:

In a healthy relationship, each person supports and encourages the other.

Real friends want to know what you’re thinking and feeling, and they’ll be interested in what you have to say.

It’s OK to have disagreements, even in a healthy relationship, but it’s important to do so respectfully and talk openly about it with each other.

Sometimes, in a relationship, you’ll need to compromise, but in a healthy relationship, the same person should not be the one who always compromises.

It’s important for both people to give and take.

Finally, it’s important to treat your relationships with care, and if a friend or a romantic partner makes you feel small, teases you, or physically or sexually pushes you into doing things that you don’t really want to do, then this might not be a healthy relationship for you. Remember, a healthy relationship, whether just a friendship or a romantic relationship, should make you feel good about yourself and who you are. After all, you are pretty great.

OK, so enough about me. How was your day?

[BUBBLE]

Teen Angst: Is It Normal?

youtube, archive

Featuring a talking brain:

Hi! You and I are going to get to be good friends. Who am I? Well, most people call me teen angst. But you can come up with whatever pet name you want for me. Personally, I’ve always loved the name Bob.

Where the heck did I come from? Let’s just say, it all has to do with a little thing called the pituitary gland. It’s that pea-sized thing at the base of your brain that starts to flood your body with hormones when you begin puberty. I promise, I’m not bad company. I just stir up a little trouble sometimes.

It all has to do with your body making some adjustments and you growing up. These intense feelings of inner conflict are totally normal and are referred to as teen angst. Remember that time your mom made your favorite breakfast and, for no reason at all, you freaked out and yelled at her? Yeah. That was me.

Or what about the time when your best friend Molly said she was going to the movies with Karen instead of you and you spent the whole night crying, like it was the end of the world? Sorry. Me again. I couldn’t help it. Oh, and that morning you missed the bus to school, because you spent hours trying to figure out what you thought was a fashionable enough outfit, ugh, that was the worst, right?

You see, part of my job is to create all sorts of big reactions and overwhelming feelings that might seem a little hard to deal with. What an annoying friend, right? But I have a job to do. And I won’t be around forever. I’m just here to help you through this funny time of life when you’re not a kid anymore, but you’re not an adult either.

But all those highs and lows you’re having are really normal and a typical part of everyone’s teenage years. Even celebrity rock stars and athletes had their own teen angst sidekicks, like me. I promise, a few years from now, you’ll look back on all our adventures together and laugh.

But remember, if I start to get a little too out of control and my friend depression butts in, it’s important to talk to a trusted adult. Depression can make you feel pretty sad and isolated. It comes around and visits lots of people. So it’s nothing to be ashamed of. And depression is totally manageable with help and medical attention.

So are you ready to go convince your little brother that it’s your turn to decide what we watch on TV tonight? And if I’m a little short-tempered, don’t worry. It’ll pass.

The Journey of Sperm: How the Male Reproductive System Works

youtube

This one is a bit longer with a ton of medical detail. Doesn’t touch on any of the controversial topics.

Books they’ll read

It’s so Amazing! (2014).

Interestingly, this book’s view on gender conflicts with some of the other videos. I guess that the view in other books like Who are you? and Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity: What’s the difference?represent the intended message since that’s book sole focus is gender whereas It’s so Amazing is a long book that touches on many topics.

On gender

What sex you are — female or male — is also called your “gender.” When the word “sex” is used in this way, it means whether a person is a female or a male — a girl or a boy, a woman or a man. When a new baby is born — and sometimes even before birth — one of the first questions almost everyone asks is, “Is it a girl or a boy?” People are always curious about the sex, or gender, of a new baby.

Grown-ups also make love when they are not planning to make a baby because it can feel good to be so close to each other.

On abortion

And there are times when a woman becomes pregnant and then chooses not to stay pregnant. She may then choose to have an “abortion.” An abortion is a medical way to end a pregnancy. Most women who have had an abortion can become pregnant again and give birth to a strong and healthy baby.

On sexual orientation.

You may have heard the words “straight,” “gay,” and “lesbian.” You may know — or you may wonder — what these words mean or what they have to do with love. You may have also heard the words “heterosexual” and “homosexual.” Although these two words have the word “sex” in them, they can also be about love

Here’s what the words “straight,” “gay,” “lesbian,” “heterosexual,” and “homosexual” mean.

A female and a male who are sexually attracted to and who may fall in love with each other are called “straight.” “Heterosexual” is another name for “straight.” A person who is straight is someone who is sexually attracted — like a magnet — to the other sex or gender.

A male who is sexually attracted to another male and who may fall in love with another male is called “gay.” “Homosexual” is another word for “gay.” A female who is sexually attracted to another female and who may fall in love with another female is called “lesbian.” “Gay” is another word for “lesbian.” And so is “homosexual.” A person who is gay or lesbian is someone who is sexually attracted — like a magnet — to a person of the same sex or gender.

On masturbation

Every family has its own thoughts and feelings about masturbation. Your family may feel differently from your friend’s or cousin’s or neighbor’s family about whether it’s okay, or not okay, to masturbate. Some people and some religions think it’s wrong to masturbate.

But most doctors agree that masturbation is perfectly healthy and perfectly normal — and cannot hurt you or your body.

Who are you (2016)?

read-aloud on youtube

On gender

The whole book is about gender identity, and it’s very short. Here’s a transcript from the read-aloud linked above.

This is a story about you. The important thing to remember is that you are the one who knows you best.

When babies are born people ask is it a boy or a girl. Babies can’t talk so grown-ups make a guess by looking at their bodies. This is the sex assigned to you at birth. Male or female. Sometimes you will get this confused with gender . But gender is much more than the body you were born with.

As babies grow into kids they start to know what they like and don’t like. This is your personal expression what you like how you dress and act. There are many ways to express yourself. What you like can change as you grow up or even from day to day.

What do you like?

[Shows a toy shelf stuffed with different toys]

[Shows a clothes line with a bunch of clothes]

Kids know a lot about themselves.
They know who they are by how they feel inside. This is your identity; who you feel like inside. Who you know yourself to be. This can also change as you grow up or change from day to day. Your gender is just one part of your identity. What makes you you.

Some people say there are only two genders. But there are really many genders

[Whiteboard: “I am…”, “girl”, “boy”, “both”, “neither”, “just me”]

You are who you say you are because you know you best.

For some people the grown-ups guessed right about their body and their gender This is called cisgender when someone’s identity matches their sex assigned at birth. And for some people there are more than just two choices. There are just a few words people use:

  • transgender
  • queer
  • non-binary
  • gender fluid
  • gender-neutral
  • agender neutral
  • bi-gender
  • third gender
  • two-spirit.

And there are even more words people are using to describe their experience. This is called the gender spectrum. There are lots of ways to be a boy. There are lots of ways to be a girl. There are lots of ways to be a kid. Be who you are.

Making a baby (2021)

I didn’t get much time to go through this one, but this one is worthwhile to note.

Grown-ups have sex in lots of different ways to show how much they care about each other, even when they are not trying to make a baby.